25 Reasons We Didn't Know We Loved Miles Edgeworth
by 6GunSally
Summary: (and where the heck is Phoenix Wright!)
1. 1 Musical Talent

_**Disclaimer: Ace Attorney and all characters are copyright by CAPCOM; I'm just a fan imitating. The stories presented are influenced by the multiple games as well as the comic (Manga written by Kenji Kuroda).**_

**25 Reasons We Didn't Know We Loved Miles Edgeworth**  
**#1-Musical Talent**

* * *

Pearl was holding Maya's hand tightly. Edgeworth stared at them, and they stared back. Why was this happening?

"Would you like to sit?" he asked and swept his arm gracefully toward the sofa. Maya led Pearl toward it with little more than a nod in acknowledgement and they sat down together. Edgeworth frowned at them a moment longer and then walked toward his desk.

"I have some things to finish up," he told them solemnly, "Then perhaps we can go somewhere else."

"Mister Ed-ji-worth," Pearl said, "How long will Mister Nick be gone?"

Edgeworth looked up from his computer screen and frowned at the girl, "I haven't the slightest. He said nothing to me in that regard."

Maya squeezed Pearls hand and the two of them leaned back on the sofa. Edgeworth went back to work. Soon, the click of the mouse and the tapping of keys on his keyboard were the only sounds to be heard. Maya sighed theatrically.

At least she wasn't buzzing around him and asking him ridiculous questions—obviously she'd learned her lesson. Edgeworth turned and flipped on the kettle and then went back to the task at hand without even a glance in their direction.  
A few minutes later the kettle clicked off and Miles stood and glanced at his selection of tea.

"Would you like some tea, ladies?" Edgeworth said.

"Tea! Oh yes, Mister Edgeworth!" Maya hopped off of the sofa immediately and Pearl followed timidly behind her.

Maya peered around him to look at the available selection.

"Do you have a preference, Maya?" Edgeworth said.

"Um… " Pearl interjected, "Mister Ed-ji-worth, sir?"

Edgeworth looked at Pearl, "Yes Pearl?"

"You have to call her Mystic Maya," Pearl said.

Edgeworth hesitated and then said, "Right… Mystic Maya…"

"You don't have any cookies?" Maya said.

"Er… no," Edgeworth said, "I bought a tin on Monday but it was stolen that very same day."

"St-stolen?" Pearl said and she balled up her fists.

"Do you know who did it?" Maya asked.

Edgeworth eyed them both warily and said, "Yes. I uncovered the culprit shortly after the crime had been committed. But I decided not to pursue a conviction."  
Edgeworth bit his lip. He'd had the crap whipped out of him, that's why. No need to go sharing such embarrassing trifles with these two.

"I had much more important matters to attend to," Edgeworth said, "Do either of you have a preference with tea? The water is cooling, so I suggest we keep deliberating to a minimum. Also, I would go with green or a nice teasan at this point."

Maya shook her head and slunk back toward the sofa, "I don't care. Pearly you pick. My favorite tea is the kind that comes with cookies."

"Oh my," Pearl said and clutched her cheeks in her hands, "There are so many kinds!"

Edgeworth leaned the box toward her so she could see better, "These are the greens and these are herbals."

"Does that tea really have flowers in it?" Pearl asked pulling out a small tin of green tea.

"Ah, good choice," Edgeworth said, "It's jasmine tea."

He took the tin from Pearls and opened it and then held it out so she could see.

"You see the white bits in there?" He asked and Pearl nodded in amazement, "Those are petals from the jasmine flower."

"I want to try that!" Pearl said excitedly and then composed herself, "Mister Ed-ji-worth."

Edgeworth nodded at her and measured some of the tea into his teapot before pouring water over it to let it steep. Pearl went to join Maya on the sofa and he went back to poking at his computer. Then he got up and poured tea for the three of them.

Maya gulped down her tea and stared at the bottom of the cup. Pearl was smiling as she savored her tea, sip by sip. Edgeworth was at a loss with what to do.  
The three of them were startled by a tinny sound. A chorus of tiny bells chimed from the computer's built in speakers. Edgeworth frowned at his screen. Maya and Pearl watched him anxiously.

"It's from my boss," Edgeworth said with a small grimace in their direction, "I have to wait for an e-mail."

"Won't your e-mail show up on your phone?" Maya asked.

"Yes, well," Edgeworth said with no small amount of fatalism, "The files I need are on this computer."

"Well," Maya said, "Can't you—"

"We'll just have to wait here a little longer," Edgeworth said, "Hopefully not terribly long."

"Please Mister Edgeworth?" Maya said, "I'm just about to keel over from boredom!"

Edgeworth shot her a glare. How rude!

"Thank you for the tea, Mister Ed-ji-worth!" Pearl said.

"You're very welcome, dear," Edgeworth said but he was still glaring at Maya. She'd thrown herself over the arm of the sofa in a very dramatic pose—like she was dying.

"If you think I'm boring, perhaps you should tell Wright not to drop you on my doorstep while he goes gallivanting about the city."

"Nick's not gallivanting!" Maya said and she puffed out her cheeks at him, "He's got something very important he has to do!"

"Just where is Wright anyway?" Edgeworth said.

"He told us not to tell," Maya said.

"Fine," Edgeworth said, "But I'm going to wait for this e-mail, so you'll just have to sit still and be quiet until it gets here."

Maya made an exasperated noise and then leaned over so that her head was on the arm of the sofa. She unknowingly shoved Pearl to the far side of the sofa. Pearl made no complaints.

Edgeworth poked around on his computer. And they waited. Finally, he clicked the mouse and the printer fired up. He got up to collect the papers that issued out of it and then fastened them into a new case folder and filed it away in his massive desk. And they waited. He sat quietly at his desk for a while and then started to organize his pencils according to length. Maya stared and they waited.

The minutes dragged by and every one seemed to reveal something new she'd never wanted to know about Edgeworth. Like how OCD he could be. She watched him straighten the papers in his outbox so that they were all neatly lined up. He was a fidgeter. She never would have guessed except he kept moving around behind his desk—even though he had nothing to do. She sighed audibly and he glanced up once with his pale eyes slightly startled and went back to sorting his paper clips according to size.

Then it happened.

It started with the tapping of a pen on his desk. She thought it might just be one of his fidgety gestures. But as it went on she began to notice a definite rhythm.  
Then the finger drum joined in. What was that song? Was it a song?

She didn't recall Nick saying that Edgeworth was musically inclined. But then most of Nick's bromantic feelings toward the man seemed limited to his skill as a prosecutor.

It was subtle, but she heard it, under his breath Edgeworth was mimicking a beat while he stared at the computer and the pen tap and finger drum continued. She sat up and stared at him.

"Doo doo doo da doo doo bah…" It was barely audible, but she heard it.

Pen tap. Finger drum. Beat box.

Maya's eyes went wide.

"Doo doo doo da doo doo bah," she said.

Edgeworth froze and looked at her for several tense moments. He was about to get angry again wasn't he? Edgeworth smiled.

"Doo doo doo da doo doo bah!" Edgeworth said.

"Da da dee da diddle doo doo dee da badum bah!"

"Not bad," Edgeworth said.

"Well?" Maya said, "Are you going to?"

Edgeworth stared. Maya started to cringe. He cleared his throat.

"I hear the drums echoing tonight—"

"Wow," Maya said.

"But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversay-ay-shun…"

Pen tap. Finger drum.

Edgeworth stood and sang into his pen mike, "She's coming in 1230 flight—moonlight wings reflect the stars that guide me toward salva-ay-shun!"

Maya clapped and Pearly sat up awe struck. Maya stood up on the other side of his desk and picked up the beat.

"I stopped an old man along the way, hoping to find some old forgotten words or ancient melodies," Edgeworth sang.

"Bom bada da bom," Maya added.

Pearl's jaw dropped and her hands flew to cover her open mouth.

"He turned to me as if to say—Hurry boy! It's waiting there for youuu!"

"It's gonna take a lot to take me away from you!" Maya sang.

Then, together, "There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do!"

"Mystic Maya?" Pearl said, "Mister Ed-ji-worth?"

"I BLESS THE RAINS DOWN IN AFRICA!"

"I bless the rains," Maya added.

Suddenly Edgeworth held up a hand to stop her and she became aware of a tinny sound. The chiming of bells.

"I have to check this e-mail," Edgeworth said.

Just like that, the magic was over.

* * *

_**A/N: What the heck was that?!**_

What's that you say? You didn't think Edgey had it in him? Of course he does!  
So begins, the ultimate fangirl tribute to Miles Edgeworth. 25 reasons we didn't know we loved him! (plus a bit of everything we already know!) The hidden theme is "Where the heck is Phoenix Wright!" (the answer, of course, is in episode 25) Enjoy!

So I'll tell you a secret, I'm half-Filipino. Karaoke is in my blood! (Hence my ignoring the stigma of the songfic)

The song is: Africa by Toto © 1978, 1979, 1982, 1986, 1988, 1995, 1998, 1999, 2003 Sony Music Entertainment.

The version above was inspired by the awesome A Capella ensemble Perpetuum Jazzile (you need to YouTube that one!—it's awesome sauce!)


	2. 2 Celebrity

**25 Reasons We Didn't Know We Loved Miles Edgeworth**

**#2-Celebrity**

* * *

Miles Edgeworth kept the girls waiting for another forty-five minutes while he transferred files on his computer and responded to several more e-mails.

Finally, he looked up at them.

Maya stared back at him expectantly, "Can we go somewhere now, Mister Edgeworth?"

He looked at his watch, "I suppose we could, it's about lunch time."

"Yeah lunch! We're getting burgers right?"

Edgeworth only gave her a look before leading them out of his office.

"Mister Ed-ji-worth?" Pearl said looking up at him, "Are we going to ride in your car? Mister Nick said your car is flashy."

They followed him to the stairwell, "Unfortunately, no," he said, "You see, there are three of us and I only have two seats."

"That's okay, Mister Edgeworth," Maya said, "Pearly can sit on my lap!"

"No," Edgeworth said, "I'll get a citation for that."

"What's a sigh-tay-shun?" Pearl asked.

"It's notice of violation of traffic laws."

"He means a ticket, Pearly. If you're not driving, what are we going to do?"

"Why, we're going to call a cab," Edgeworth said.

Pearl clapped excitedly and Maya whooped for joy—Nick only got cabs for special occasions or dire circumstances.

They exited the building out of the garage away from the main entrance. Edgeworth glanced around surreptitiously looking for anyone following them. Maya caught him and frowned.

"Are you embarrassed to be seen with us in public or something?"

Edgeworth looked at her in surprise, "Certainly not Miss Fey. I just… One must always be vigilant out in the open."

"Huh?" Maya said and paused, "What are you talking about? You're totally weird, Mister Edgeworth."

Edgeworth stopped walking and Pearl bumped into him, he glared at Maya, "I am not weird, Miss Fey. The world is a sordid and dangerous place. Now come, take Pearl's other hand."

"Are you seriously going to make us hold hands while we cross the street?"

"We are not crossing the street," Edgeworth said and he took Pearl by the hand, "We are about to get on the main street so we can catch a cab."

Maya made a huffy noise and puffed out her cheeks, but she took Pearl's other hand like she was told. If Nick was here…

"Okay," Edgeworth said, "stay together and don't let go of each other's hands. Walk briskly and don't look at anyone!"

"Totally weird," Maya whispered to Pearl.

Then Edgeworth started forward jerking the both of them along. He was walking fast, like he was on some kind of mission.

"Mister Edgeworth!" Maya said, "Don't you think we should slow down? Pearl is practically running to keep up!" (She was practically running too.)

"Stay with me, or else they'll get you," Edgeworth said without slowing his step.

"Ugh," Maya said between labored breaths, "Why. Are. You. So. Weird!"

Edgeworth slowed and bent down to pick up Pearl, he was jogging now. Maya was shocked when he grabbed her hand.

"They're here," he said as he pulled Maya along.

Pearl was frightened and hugging him around his neck, "Who are they, Mister Ed-ji-worth?"

"Never mind that, I'll explain later," he said, and he kept moving along.

Maya started to notice more people as they approached the intersection. Edgeworth's pace grew more harried and his grip on her hand tightened so much it started to hurt.

"Edgeworth! Let go of me!" Maya said, "You're being crazy! What are you—"

Then it happened. Darkness and shadows fell on them and they were buried in the cacophony of speakers and chattering and cameras clicking. Maya fell out of Edgeworth's grasp and was suddenly found herself being swept back in the coursing wave of humanity surrounding them as surely as if she'd been caught in a rip tide.

In the roaring amalgam of voices Maya thought she heard Pearl and then Edgeworth shout her name. People were stepping on her robes and she couldn't find enough space in the throng to stand up. She would be trampled. Maya started to scream, but her voice was drowned by the other shouts and in the depths of the crowd.

"STOP!" A voice boomed over the crowd. They stopped talking and shoving and shouting and taking pictures. Maya was still too shocked to move from where she lay.

Suddenly, the crowd parted and a magenta clad arm reached out to help her up.

Edgeworth pulled her close and put an arm protectively over her shoulders so that all she could see was darkness and ruffles. At least that made her feel safe.

"Prosecutor Edgeworth, do you have a comment for me in regard to—"

"Who are these girls?"

"Have you secretly been dating and—"

"Smile Edgeworth!"

"What is your opinion on—"

The voices started to mingle and close in again, and Maya started to panic in fear.

"Stop!" Edgeworth said.

"Who is that little girl?"

"I said STOP!"

The crowd was still and silent once again.

"I have somewhere I have to be, if you let us be, perhaps we can talk about an exclusive…"

"Can I get that on pa—"

Edgeworth let Pearl stand next to Maya and waved at a big black car. The car pulled up immediately and Edgeworth opened the back passenger door and ushered Pearl and Maya quickly inside.

"What took you so long, Butz?" Edgeworth said as he closed the door.

"Oh man, I didn't see your buzz 'til like, five minutes ago!" Larry said.

"Larry!" Maya said in shock, "What are you doing?"

"I work for a limo company now, Edgey helped me get the jo—"

"Drive Butz," Edgeworth said watching as the crowd started to gather around the car.

"Edgeworth!" Maya said, "What the heck? I didn't know you were famous!"

Edgeworth turned to look at her and raised an eyebrow, but he didn't respond.

"I've never seen so much paparazzi in my life!"

"You exaggerate," Edgeworth said, "They were journalists, magazine interviewers and bloggers—nothing so scary as paparazzi."

"I thought they were pretty scary," Pearl said.

"For reals," Maya said.

They sat quietly for several minutes while Larry drove them out of the city center. After a while Maya elbowed Edgeworth, "Mister Edgeworth, where are we going? Are you going to take us to a five star burger joint?"

"Five star?" Edgeworth said.

"Yeah," Maya said, "I bet you can get reservations anywhere!"

"…"

"He so totally can!" Larry butted in, Edgeworth raised the privacy screen.

* * *

**_A/N: Thanks for reading this! Tell me if you like or hate and how I might make it better!_**

_Edgeworth is so famous… This is probably how he gets all these connections and "favors"…_

_Please visit the forum! Say hi!_


	3. 3 Grease Monkey

**25 Reasons We Didn't Know We Loved Miles Edgeworth**

**#3-Grease Monkey**

* * *

Larry kept driving at a relatively fast clip until the city streets gave way to strip malls and suburban subdivisions. Maya and Pearl had fallen asleep.

"Butz," Edgeworth said, "Where are you going?"

Larry slowed the car down," Uh… Edgey, man, you never told me where to go."

Edgeworth's brow furrowed just a little bit more than usual, "Then why did you feel the need to drive out here?"

"Um…" Larry grinned at Edgeworth sheepishly, "I was just trying to get away from that mo—"

"Keep your eyes on the road!" Edgeworth shouted at Larry.

"Mob," Larry finished just before he swerved to avoid a fence he was about to run into only to smash the car into a tractor. Luckily, he had slowed to about 15 MPH before impact.

Larry turned to look at Edgeworth, he tried a smile and a shrug. Edgeworth's glare could burn a hole in him, not to mention he had three hairs out of place and would be angry about that if he knew.

Maya was staring in at him now too. Both she and Pearl looked shaken and scared.

"It's not that serious then, if the airbags haven't deployed," Edgeworth said.

"I'm sorry, dude," Larry said, "I'll call triple 'A'!"

"Wait," Edgeworth said, "Let's look at the damage first. It might not be that bad."

"Aw yeah," Larry added, "This car is a tank."

"Girls, wait inside," Edgeworth said.

Maya continued to watch the two men as they stepped out and walked around the car. Edgeworth would point or make a comment and Larry nodded at everything he said like a bobble-head. Edgeworth opened the back door and looked in on them.

"Ladies," he said, "If you would…"

He beckoned them to get out of the car in one fluid and elegant motion.

"What happened Mister—"

"Nothing you should trouble yourself over," Edgeworth said, "I do apologize for my driver's idiocy."

When they were out of the car he waved Larry over, "That tire is completely torn."

"Um… Yeah, it looks pretty bad—should I call a tow-truck?"

"I don't want to keep the poor girls waiting," Edgeworth said, "Couldn't you just change the tire?"

"Uh… sh-sure Edgey," Larry was scratching at the back of his head, "If you're cool riding around with the donut on this thi—"

"Donut?" Edgeworth's brow really furrowed this time, "Does it really have one of those? I asked for full size spares!"

Larry cringed a little as Edgeworth stormed past and then banged on the trunk so that he could open it. Larry popped the trunk open and then came up behind to look over Edgeworth's shoulder while he rummaged in the trunk. Edgeworth pulled on something and the whole floor of the trunk came up; he turned to Larry.

"Do you see? It's a full sized wheel," He said.

"Oh. Well, waddaya know?" Larry said.

Edgeworth pulled a small bundle out of the trunk and shoved it at Larry. It clinked metallically.

"What's this?" Larry said.

"Tools—Butz tell me you've changed a tire before?"

"Uh—well, you see…"

"No I don't," Edgeworth said.

"All right, man!" Larry waved his hands emphatically at Edgeworth,

"I hope you have some kind of contingency," Edgeworth said, "Because you've just lost your job!"

Larry started crying, the tears flowed from his eyes like twin rivers, "It's not my fault—that's how I was raised!"

Edgeworth left him crying and walked toward Maya and Pearl, "We are having some complications, I'm sorry. I would ask that you avert your eyes while we work, I wouldn't want to offend."

"Uh okay," Maya said with no small amount of confusion in her voice. As an added measure she covered Pearl's eyes.

Edgeworth went back to the car and removed his cravat, his jacket, then his waistcoat, and finally his pristine dress shirt. He walked up to Larry and took the bundle of tools, "Give me your jacket," Edgeworth said.

"Edgey, why do you want my jacket? Yours is sitting right there in the car!"

"Jacket," Edgeworth said.

Larry balked a little more but finally gave it up.

"Pay attention Butz, I'm only going to show you this once."

Edgeworth laid Larry's jacket near the flat then he knelt on it and positioned the jack. Larry was surprised when the car began to lift.

"That's what that is!"

Edgeworth glared at him and then he stood to remove the bolts holding the flat in place. When he was finished he looked at Larry.

"Butz," he said, "Come remove this."

"But Edgey I—!"

"Butz!"

"I've never done it—why can't you do it?"

"And risk soiling my pants? Are you mad?"

So Larry grabbed the flat and struggled with it for several minutes before pulling it off of the car. He grinned triumphantly and walked round the car so that Maya and Pearl could see.

Then he dropped the tire on his foot.

Edgeworth didn't look up from where he'd put the new wheel on and was in the midst of tightening the bolts. By the time Larry limped back to him, Edgeworth had completed the job. He wiped his hands on Larry and then put his things back on.

"Wow," Larry said, "You changed a tire and didn't even get dirty…"

"Just get in the car," Edgeworth said his voice impatient, "I'll get the girls."

"It's about time, Mister Edgeworth!" Maya said.

"We can eat at my house—I didn't expect this delay and I have to walk the dog," Edgeworth said.

Maya grinned and clapped her hands together, "Mister Edgeworth! I didn't know you had a dog!"

Pearl trembled a little and hugged herself, "Dogs are mean!"

Edgeworth bent to meet her eye, "Nonsense, Miss Fey, my little Pess wouldn't hurt anyone!"

"Well, let's go…" Maya grabbed Pearl by the hand, "You did say something about lunch, didn't you?"

The three of them walked back to the car where a disgruntled looking Larry sat waiting. They all got in the back seat and Edgeworth gave Larry a scary look.

"We're going to my house," Edgeworth said.

"What about finding Nick?"

"Who said anything about looking for Wright?"

"Oh, Mister Edgeworth!" Maya interjected, "We want to find Nick too!"

"Yes, we have to Mister Ed-ji-worth, he's probably worried sick about us!"

"Well," Edgeworth said, "Do you know where he is?"

"No," Maya said, "We should have lunch at your place first, then we'll look for Nick."

Edgeworth nodded at Larry and Larry started the car.

"Hey, Edgey," Larry said, "Where do you live again?"

* * *

**_A/N: Thanks for reading! And thanks for the reviews! _**

_It all makes me happy…_

_Obviously, I'm a firm believer in Edgeworth the secret grease monkey (this has been hinted at in Turnabout Honeymoon, MORE THAN, I RLY HATE U, and maybe in other places.)_

_I don't believe the driver of an Alfa Romeo is not a car lover, and with a car like that, why would you let anyone touch it?_

_Thanks again and please stop by the forum and say hi!_


	4. 4 Foodie

**25 Reasons We Didn't Know We Loved Miles Edgeworth**

**#4-Foodie**

* * *

Maya and Pearl gaped in awe as Larry pulled into the gate of a sprawling complex name Gatewater Heights. There were three towers with grand windows and decorated grounds with topiaries and flowers all designed in a classic Greek motif. A fountain decorated the center of the drive in front of the largest building.

"Just take her into the garage," Edgeworth said, "Since you broke my car and now it needs fixed."

Larry sobbed a little, "I'm so sorry Edgey!"

"Mister Ed-ji-worth, does this whole place belong to you?"

Edgeworth looked a little sheepish, "Yes… Yes it does."

"This whole thing is your house?" Maya looked incredulous.

"Um, no…" Edgeworth said, "I have the Penthouse at the top of this building. The rest of the flats are for let. I have quite a few tenants."

Both Maya and Pearls eyes grew so large as they passed through the grounds and headed around back to the garage.

When Larry parked, Edgeworth led Maya and Pearl to the stairwell and they started going up, Larry wasn't invited, but he followed anyway.

"Doesn't your building have an elevator?" Maya asked when they'd gone up five flights of stairs.

Edgeworth paused on the landing and frowned, "Yes… But it's under maintenance."

"You're not just scared of elevators, are you?" Maya said.

"Never," Edgeworth said, and he started walking in order to kill the conversation.

When they got to his floor, his was the only door. As soon as it was opened a large golden blur burst from the flat and tackled Edgeworth into the opposite wall. Pearl and Maya stared while the big dog licked Edgeworth's face and ears while pinning him to the floor.

Pearl started shaking and Maya grabbed her, "Mystic Maya! It's eating him!"

Pearl started screaming.

Pess started barking.

Edgeworth decided to bring everyone inside the flat and sort things out.

"Shh! Sit," he told Pess and then knelt so that he and Pearl were eye to eye, "Now, Miss Fey, do not panic. Pess will not hurt you."

"I don't want to!" Pearl said and she tried to push back against Maya to get away.

Edgeworth stood, "If you are afraid, don't go near her. She'll leave you alone."

"Can I pet her?" Maya asked.

"Yes you may," Edgeworth said.

"Can I pet her too?" Larry asked.

"What are you doing here?" Edgeworth asked, startled to see him.

"You invited us didn't you?" Larry said.

Edgeworth only grumbled and walked away. Pess followed him as he led the group into the flat. He waved an arm in the direction of a bright spacious room with a hearth and several sofas with carved wooden embellishments and regal looking upholstery.

"This is the sitting room," he said, "You may make yourselves at home here."

"Are you going to give us the Grand Tour?" Maya asked.

Edgeworth frowned, "I hadn't planned on it…"

"Oh, but you should!" Maya said, "We need to scope out the whole place!"

Edgeworth looked at her oddly, "Why?"

"But we have to find Mister Nick," Pearl said.

"Right," Edgeworth added, "We shouldn't waste time gallivanting about my private residence."

Maya leaned in toward Edgeworth, "Some other time maybe?"

Edgeworth blushed.

"Lunch!" Maya said suddenly, "You said you'd feed us lunch!"

"Ah, yes," Edgeworth said.

He led the group out of the sitting room back to the grand entryway toward another large bright room with a long table and heavy chairs. There were tapestries on the walls.

"This is the dining room," Edgeworth said walking past.

He turned into a smaller room with a round glass table and service for four, "This is the nook," Edgeworth added.

Edgeworth motioned for everyone to stay in the 'nook' while he poked his head into another door, "Hello?"

Edgeworth returned with a scowl, "No one is in the kitchen," he said.

"Mister Edgeworth!" A tall thin and harried looking man with a very pompous turn of face hurried into the nook, "Mister Edgeworth, we were not expecting you so early and with guests!"

Edgeworth pointed at the man, "This is Mister Wellington, he's my butler."

Larry, Maya, and Pearl waved. Wellington sniffed.

"Sir, will you guests need refreshment?" Wellington asked.

"Yes, please," Edgeworth said, "and lunch."

"Lunch?!" Wellington gasped.

"Yes, were is the cook?" Edgeworth said.

"Sir, you don't normally come home for lunch and the cook has gone to do the shopping for dinner."

Edgeworth sighed, "Oh."

"Wait," Maya puffed out her cheeks and balled her fists, "So we're not getting lunch?"

Edgeworth looked at the butler and the man shook his head, "I do not cook."

"I'll cook," Edgeworth said.

Maya clapped, "You can cook too? Mister Edgeworth…"

Edgeworth looked at them and smiled, "Would you like cereal? I have raisin bran and Cheerios…"

Maya looked aghast, eyes narrowed and jaw hanging, "I thought you said you were going to cook…"

Edgeworth frowned, "I can make a bowl of cereal."

Maya glared, "You're kidding. Please tell me you're kidding."

Edgeworth looked at Larry and Pearl, neither of who wanted to get in Maya's way about lunch. He tugged nervously at his hair at the back of his head.

"Okay…" Edgeworth said, "Why don't you ladies make yourselves comfortable? Mister Wellington will get you something to drink… Larry, come with me…"

Larry looked confused—which really wasn't unusual—as Edgeworth grabbed his arm and dragged him into the kitchen.

"Perhaps, Butz," Edgeworth said, "You can redeem yourself."

The two of them stood in the center of the kitchen completely at a loss.

"Hey, Edgey," Larry said, "Why don't you make them cook? They're females…"

Edgeworth face palmed, "They are my guests. I cannot invite a guest to my home and not provide refreshment or meals should they require. It is beyond etiquette."

"Where's that?" Larry said.

"We need to make something for them to eat for lunch," Edgeworth said and he took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves.

"Do you have salad stuff? We could just slice that up and boom! Girls like salad."

Edgeworth smiled, "I dare say, there's a spark of intelligence in that old brain of yours!"

He went to open the refrigerator and stared.

"Just grab whatever veggies are in there," Larry said.

"Here," Edgeworth handed Larry two red bell peppers, a carrot, a jicama, a box of raspberries, a bag of alfalfa sprouts, a cucumber and a couple of shallots.

Larry lined up the ingredients on the counter and studied them, "It seems wrong. Like something is missing. Do you have anything that looks like leaves?"

"You mean lettuce?" Edgeworth asked.

"Okay, yeah."

"No," Edgeworth said, "But there's this… It looks like spinach but I don't think it is…"

"Maybe you should taste it?" Larry said.

"You taste it!" Edgeworth said.

Larry tore a piece off of one of the leaves and then stuck it in his mouth.

"Ack! Wow! What the heck!"

"So it's not spinach?" Edgeworth asked.

"I don't know," Larry said, "It's gross!"

Edgeworth took the greens away from Larry and rinsed them, then he started chopping them roughly and put them in a bowl.

"I told you it was gross," Larry said, "Why'd you put it in there?"

"It looks nice," Edgeworth said, "It's leafy."

"What's this?" Larry said and he held up the jicama.

Edgeworth stared at it, "I think it's a radish… The large white radishes that—"

Larry grabbed it, "Here, I'll shred a little of that and we'll put a carrot in there, and—"

Edgeworth handed him a cucumber.

Larry shredded it into the bowl and then he mixed everything together.

"That looks nice," Edgeworth said.

"I guess we just feed it to them?" Larry said.

Maya and Pearl both looked relieved when Edgeworth and Larry exited the kitchen with all their limbs intact. The salad presented looked very lovely indeed.

"Let's eat!" Maya said.

Edgeworth watched in awe as Maya ate a bowl of the salad without pause. Then she looked at him, eyes watering.

"What kind of salad is this?" Maya asked, "It cleared my sinuses!"

Edgeworth looked at Larry and Larry stared back at him.

"It's gourmet," Edgeworth said.

* * *

_**A/N: Thanks for reading!**_

_Gourmet—a fancy word for indescribable_

_I'm not sure what kind of salad that was, but I have a feeling they might have used mustard greens… Whhoo! That'd make me cry…_


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